I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
