im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
