Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
