remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
