Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
