Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
