i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
