Walk of Shame. In a state park.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
