Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You ruined the universe
Randomize
