Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize