sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
