having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
