so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
