I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize