you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
