what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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