at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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