I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
