and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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