my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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