Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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