I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
