I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
