the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
