Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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