She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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