I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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