yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
