one might say we're banned from that church
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
