Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
and you said cock pushups were impossible
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
