I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
love makes seman taste better
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
