shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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