There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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