dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
