she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
