On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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