You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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