he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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