The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize