I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
