I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
