I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
