I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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