I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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