It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
