I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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