You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
