The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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