A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize