i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He passed out mid-signature
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
