Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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