are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
