i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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