Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize