Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
