He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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