it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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