I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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