I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do you have feelings for this penis?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
