I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
God, I missed his penis.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
