She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
