margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
