Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
