Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
