So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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