She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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