hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
