Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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