This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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