just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
