is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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