I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
