Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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