Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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